You can’t say “retarded” in New Jersey anymore. At least, not in legal statutes.
New Jersey’s governor has just made it illegal for state law to refer to people with developmental or intellectual disabilities as “mentally retarded”.
But the new law itself is retarded, in the literal sense of the word: It’s late. It’s slow. It’s behind the times.
Most of us stopped calling people with developmental or intellectual disabilities “retarded” a long time ago. Culture moved on before the law did.
Funny, though, how words change over time? “Mentally retarded” was surely a kind term in its day; it certainly doesn’t come off as harshly as “mentally deficient” or “addled” or “idiotic,” all of which were quite acceptable at one point or another.
When I was a kid my Native friends called themselves Indians, and so did their moms and dads and practically everybody else. The reserves were not yet First Nations and “Aboriginal” as a generic term sounded vaguely Australian.
Then again, I’d wince when my dad would politely refer to one of his buddies as a “coloured chap;” that already seemed outmoded somehow in my childhood, though it was clearly an attempt to be decent and proper. “Negro” had long since been abandoned as the correct term for someone who would now refer to themselves as black, Black, or African-Canadian.
I remember a fellow in my hometown, who was much beloved, being casually called “a crippled guy.” But “crippled”, which was strictly true, (he was confined to a wheelchair due to polio) and not meant hurtfully, was later modified to handicapped, then disabled. During the height of the politically correct era, I heard both “handicapable” and “differently-abled” from well-meaning people, but neither ever made it to common usage.
And then there’s the myriad of expressions you can (or can’t) or can AGAIN use to refer to your gay friends.
Dyke, queer and fag were all very mean things to say when I was a kid; now they’ve all been “re-appropriated” to one degree or another, and it totally depends on context and intent whether you’ll be the life of the party, or a social pariah for using them.
“Gay” itself, it seems to me was once considered insulting; now it’s only insulting if you’re using it to refer to something or someone who’s not actually gay. You can’t use it to mean happy anymore, though, unless you’re singing an old-timey song, and even then everyone titters.
Speaking of titters… aw, forget it.
My point is, over time, words meant to be euphemistic, kind, descriptive, neutral, can become laden with all kinds of extra baggage. And the baggage may belong to either the speaker, or the listener when a given term is used.
A man may not mean anything derogatory by calling a woman a girl, but she may hate it, even if she refers to her best pals as “the girls.” A gay guy may call himself queer but take umbrage if someone else does. And the n-word… I don’t know where to start, except to say the only place I’ve heard it in 20 years is in hip-hop songs sung by Black men. That is, until Dr. Laura tried to bring it back.
I recently got embroiled in an argument about Jew’s harps, of all things. I find it very awkward to use the term, but I was given a thorough dressing-down by a Jewish acquaintance who thinks that represents my (and society’s collective) distaste for the term ‘Jew.’
All of this nuance and semiotic shifting happens organically – not because of laws, but because of sensitivity, awareness, publicity, changing social mores, etc. So that New Jersey’s new law, while worthy, is delayed in reflecting what’s actually going on in the world around us.
And that’s frequently true of legal actions: they take a while to recognize formally what’s been going on informally for quite some time. Mixed marriage. Gay marriage. Marijuana use.
In other words, the law is retarded. Not disabled, deficient, addled, or idiotic.
Just slow.
What the overly PC crowd don’t get is that the term is not the problem. Take the root word for the n-word, negro or negroid was a term invented by intellectuals to describe the people found in Africa. If you look on wikipedia the origins are from the from the Latin niger (“black”) and Greek ?????? Négros (“black”). I am assuming that it wasn’t a racist term, but a descriptive one. Then along came the racists and turned it into a derogatory term. Just to be sure everyone got the point, they emphasized it with a nicname, the n-word, meant to be an even more profound slur.
Then the term was changed to “coloured” and that became a slur from the mouths of racists. Then black people took things into their own hands in the sixties and just called themselves proudly black. That became a slur to the racists. I’m probably missing some incarnations and now the PC term is “African American”, which is confusing as sin because it changes with whatever country one finds oneself in. Especially confusing is that a white person whose family may have lived in South Africa for generations and may or may not have supported apartheid, should he move the US he would be a South African-American. Depending on his views, he may not be welcome in the club.
But back to my point. The problem is not the term but the people using it. Racists, in this case, will always use the newest term as derogatory and by continuously changing they are just given new terms to hate. The only way equality will be truly held is when people stop having to change terminology to stay ahead of the losers in society. The PC crowd, although certainly not to the same extent, are a part of the problem themselves. I agree that we still have a long way to go to eliminate racism, sexism, ageism and most other ‘isms, but sensitizing an issue to death is not always helpful. I’ve heard hushed voices telling me that “they aren’t Indians, they’re NATIVE AMERICANS” and then gone to a pipe ceremony to have the natives there all call themselves Indians without batting an eye.
It’s none of my business, not being black, but the n-word situation seems to be the most untenable. A forbidden word that only rappers and certain other people can use is bound to cause problems and this only perpetuates bad blood and racism in my opinion. Better to just drop it entirely. And as for the politically correct crowd, I wish they would stop pandering to the weakest link in society and work on reforming them instead of the rest of us.
The thistle seed used for bird feed used to be named niger seed. Now it is labeled nyger seed. Probably to be closer to politically correct. Total insanity.
Just love your title!
Interesting article on the origins of ‘retarded’ – I forgot that it meant slow/late.
Excellent article David. I’ve worked in the field of supporting adults with developmental disabilities for the past 35 years and have evolved through many changes to the ‘labels’. Some of my older clients from institutions had medical reports calling them ‘cretins’, back in the day. Whew !! Just like the best intentioned new law which I agree is years behind the times, it would be wonderful to see time and money spent doing this being better spent developing and funding supports for this population rather than all the time and money it goes into challenging ‘labels’. The PC crowd tend to be a tad righteous and could spend their time on more important things. Again, well stated David. Thanks
David, I have a mentally challenged son, and would not trade him for the world. I cringe every time I hear the word retarded , because of the all the negative things associated with the word. They may be slow, but the ones I know are a lot smarter than most of us “NORMAL people are.
I find the term Jew very awkward. I know it’s not deroguatory, but I feel like it is if I ever try to use it. I always use “Jewish person” instead.
Good to see your writing about this, and the comments.
I wrote something a little different addressing the same subject on my blog, yesterday at http://deanjbaker.wordpress.com.
Hail to Jesus, King of the Jewish Persons.. JP’s.
So with all this PC, Michael Jean would be an African Haitian Canadian Haitian. Do I have this right?
I enjoyed the article….
I guess I will say this straight out though, that I am a Black Woman.
Having followed the Dr. Laura debacle….I wasn’t nearly as angry about her using the “n” word, as I was about the incident surrounding the issue.
This was a black woman calling Dr. Laura about her white husband calling her the “n-word”. Dr. Laura’s response was that the woman was being over-sensitive. I found that over the top personally. Dr. Laura was pressing on the issue of word usage and how one race can use it, while another can’t. I get what she was attempting to say, but she tried to assert her opinions on the entirely wrong situation. She completely overlooked the fact that no matter what the woman was being called, she was being (and clearly felt offended by it or she wouldn’t have called) verbally assaulted by her partner. Would Dr. Laura have had the same reaction had he been calling her other names? I’m tending to think not….I would like to think she would have been advising the woman she was being mentally and emotionally abused, and that it wasn’t acceptable in any relationship.
But then again, I’m not Dr. Laura….
I am not you,
Nor you me.
I cannot walk in your shoes
Or look through your eyes.
I do not know who you are
What you do, or
Why you live the way you do, but
We are related.
I will not judge you, but
Please be careful of the words you speak
You may forget,
I never will.
(C) (P) BSteeves 2000
This article is gay.
I mean… heterosexually retarded.
I mean…heterosexually challenged.
I mean…awesome.
Notice how it is never the actual people that complain, its always people with no lives who spend all their time pretending they would be offended – if they were the group apparently being offended.
A Jews harp has been changed to a jaw harp a while ago.
Mr. Taylor, I think you’re missing the point of the post [which is well written !]. The message of this post was not to be hurtful to your son.
David, I agree with what you’re saying about words and their meaning…or, at least, the meaning by the people using them. Unfortunately racists will use whatever term gets their hate message across…but I don’t think that’s a reason for not using it or making the word illegal [can I even say 'call a spade a spade' these days ? should we change the book from 1984 to 2010 and start gathering the people for thought crimes ?]
It all comes down to education…as one of the commenters even stated that they forgot what the actual meaning of the word retard was (it’s also used in music to ’slow down the tempo’]. And, I don’t think the words should be stricken from our history because their meaning or use was bad [I had heard that Mark Twain's books were being taken from schools and libraries because they had the n-word in them]…again, it’s about education…if we try to white-wash the past we won’t learn from it…
who was it that said, if we forget the past we’re doomed to repeat it ?
In closing…education, education, education…
If my friend does something stupid can I still call him a retardo ?
Interesting article…
I do not believe that words we use for a group of people have any relevance. Regardless of how a word is used by the person saying it, or how it is interpreted by people who hear it, at some point it will become a derogatory term because of people’s attitudes toward each other.
Words are not the issue.
Therefore, I agree, the law is retarded!
I’d like to respond to Carl’s question…my answer would be no, you shouldn’t use this term because your friend does something stupid. It would appear to me that a “stupid” act is not usually committed by a special needs person, but rather by one of the “normal” people who walk amongst us most days! So in closing, maybe you should call your friend a “normal everyday idiot” because after all, common sense is anything but “common”! Carl, I think you will understand my meaning behind this statement!
Colleen, I think you using the world ‘idiot’ is going to offend a whole group of people: politicians who would actually back this law.
“A Special Needs Person”?
What a pitiful way to describe someone. What the heck is normal?
I cook for an Outreach Program, every Monday night, that feeds almost eighty people. Everyone of them has a need or needs….special or not.
Poverty is a culture; homelessness is a culture; mental capacity is a culture as is any other need. You all need to get past the fact that they are not you! Stop throwing pity at these folks, they do not want it. They want your help to improve their lot in life.
I understand that you used the term Special Needs Person to not appear offensive. The truth is that some people are blind and deaf and some folks are so crippled that they need a wheel chair to get around. Look at Helen Keller or Stephen Hawking and tell me that they are not special. Political correctness assumes that one can pick the turd up from its clean end.
Any law that is passed to limit the use or availability of any language is in itself defeating. Just look at all the words that have been used to describe the fact that we are not fooled into accepting the fact that the people who passed it are only protecting us from ourselves.
We all have demonstrated the true art of communication. Thank you.